Archive for August, 2010

For the first time in my blogging,there’s the absence of pictures.It’s just that I’ve been tumblring so much these days that I’ll like my blog to be just words and no images.Does that sound coherent to you?It doesn’t to me at least but it seems to make sense.Hahahaha anyway I try to make it my resolution to blog at least once a month.The rest of the time I’m sorry it’s tumblr’s time.Anyway,this past month has gone by so quickly and it doesn’t seem as though much had changed. It’s the study break now before prelims come and go and we’re left with 3 weeks of makeshift timetables with extremely short duration in school and being engulfed with endless consultations and the likes. Yesterday appeared to be the “last” official day of proper schooling and it’s been surreal,like a long crazy strange ride had come to an end and we’re on our own now.

It’s sadding when you come to think about it.This time next year I’ll be in University and I’m going to bet that things are gonna be vastly different.Things always look for the better and people’s minds are easily altered,like wine through water and time is the merciless master of all of us. It’s not time to reminisce about Meridian days yet,I’ll probably do it in Graduation or after Prom or something.You know Term 3 had been a fluctuating journey-never in my whole life had I felt so stifled with the endless amount of work flowing in like there’s no tomorrow and never have I tried so hard to get the damn thing right.And before I’ve got time to crash and try to look around me,tada term 3 is OVER.Over is a loose word for I’m not sure about my feelings. Recently so many things have been occuring without offering an explanation or even a hint on what is going on,why is this happening and so many question marks that provoke a neverending trail of emptiness and heartbreaks.First the landslide,then the Philippines bus hostage thing-with all these shit that is happening,Apocalypse is going to come soon.With all these trouble and sufffering,I’m not surprised if God comes down and try to punish humanity once more.All I’m trying to say is,it’s depressing to look around you and see people dying one after another,people who are innocently living their own lives only to have it taken away from them.Like how a person can be smiling breathing and living one minute only to be found dead the next.The unpredictability of life scares the freak out of me and I desperately want to try to treasure every single thing that is around me.I’ll just take both the good and the bad and try to milk the best out of it.

It’s been so long that I am able to pour these all out and transfer the thoughts in my head into words.Words give one a gratifying pleasure and yet,as much as I try,I can’t put what I really feel into words,it’s like %$#^%^(&$# when I push them out when it makes perfect sense in my head and heart.Maybe some things just can’t be said.Maybe,long after we’ve left,everything will be an empty space because that’s the case in oblivion.

Yesterday the teachers were giving us chocolates and farewell gifts almost as though they’re saying goodbye to us and stuff.In a way it felt like it was goodbye.Miss Wong was so sweet when she gave every single one of us our “Survival Kit” stashed with brain goodies and a personalized message for all of us.It was really sweet and so awwwwwwwwwwww.I really hope I won’t let down any of my teachers,family and friends anymore.I hope I will be able to do and achieve what I want at the end of the day.I hope I won’t let my heart down anymore.Because after so long I’ve realized that at the end of the day,the only thing I have to fight for is my own heart,the heart that will remain beating for me long after everyone’s gone.

To my friends,it’s the last lap.The one we knew we have to face eventually┬ásince 2 February 2009. There’s no turning back and let’s give this our best shot.

Then the rest of our lives can begin.


Read Full Post »