Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for March, 2012

Balance.

Image

Something that I learnt in Semester 2, University.

Hi all this is fast becoming a desolate space, but somehow I feel comfortable each time I post here. We’re reaching the end of this semester and finals are just 3 weeks away. it wont be long before I’m in year 2 now.Seriously as you get older, time seems to slip away faster than you can count to 3.As I’m typing this, the rain is pouring heavily and I enjoy this kind of squall.I like how the rain blurs out the concrete jungle and how your vision is drowned in slushy images of grayish tones and I like how there’s a certain element of “cleansing” in the rain.Of course, I love it when I’m cuddled in the warmth and comfort of my home,safe from the chill. It’s been a long time since I can sit here and type this piece because the last few weeks had seen me rushing from tests to papers to tests and to papers. Many of my friends are getting increasingly exhausted from the rigours of the academic life and I wish I can give them a hug and to be there for them. Sadly, I too have been smothered by the endless pile of work.The only difference now is that I actually really relish whatever I’m doing.It’s a chore,but it’s something I’m willing to put myself through.The tears, the heartache,the stress-I’m ready for it all.A close friend once told me that no matter what you do, always do your best and the rest would come naturally.Aim to achieve, but don’t be an overachiever.I love how my friends always have my back despite us being miles away.I love how I don’t have a big circle of friends,but many of them are stay-ers in my life.If there’s something cogent that Life had taught me-as cliche as it sounds, those who are meant to stay in your life stay,even if you don’t ask them to. Many a time we are just passerbys . Many a time, people leave as suddenly as they came without heed nor warning and many a time, it’s hard to get to truly know a person.I’m a staunch believer in the fact that we don’t really reveal all of ourselves to people-even our closest and tightest of kin.Instead, we reveal facets of ourselves, nuggets of our everyday images and bits of our clothed personality. We leave the rest alone because it’s always good to keep a sliver of your true self just..to yourself.They don’t need to know because some things are better left unspoken and I’ve learnt to be okay with that.

These days I’ve been even more acutely aware of the impermanence of mankind and how we’ve been precariously holding on to every strand of life. Being sensitized to the mortality of humans and such, my heart swells with pain over the sudden passing of the best people around. Everything is predetermined and I just wish…that we could treasure every single bit of life while we are still breathing. Every breathing second is a second which we can never get back again-it’s like the ripple effect. I love bus rides alone because it’s amazing how much I can contemplate while gazing at the window and watching the world melt into a contingent of passage. The thought that “I’m alive today” makes me feel happy because I can go about doing the things I wanna do and being free and in control of myself makes me feel strong.Life. I can go on and on about it,because on one hand,as a newborn voices out his/her first cries, a person heaves his/her last breath. There’s always a balance.It’s the unwritten law governing civilization as well as the cosmology of this world.There’s a time for everything.There’s a time to laugh and there’s a time to cry.The day always has to give way to the night and there can never be any allowance for an upsetting of balance.There’s life and then there’s the afterlife.I wish I can just acquaint myself to the negatives of being a human and endure the pain of watching people leave.Notice the incoherence here now because when it comes to issues of ultimate meaning, boy am I straddled in the crossroads.All I want to say is that so far I’ve been extremely blessed and I thank God for everything. Okay I’m just about done now because I’ve ran out of things to say.

Till May or till whenever,because finals are heading towards my way.Stay safe and happy folks.

人有悲欢离合 月有阴晴圆缺。

Read Full Post »