Archive for June, 2012

I have a knack for remembering dates and right now I just have to add June 16 2012 to the list of dates that I will remember for the rest of my life.

The concert was held at RWS and it really is the most idyllic place for Shinhwa I guess.RWS is like an isolated mini dream town of its own AND I can really imagine it being deserted or at least extremely quiet in the still of the night.Perfect for Shinhwa who love having their own privacy-with that an image of them playing along the streets of RWS in the ungodly hour starts to conjure in my head. Anyway, let me start with the airport experience first.

JUNE 15 2012 730PM: Dynn and I reached the airport and settled ourselves at the barricade with a positive vibe of trepidation and just the slightest hint of excitement. It was hilarious just being there and “eavesdropping” on fellow Shinhwa Changjos talking about their biases and all hahaha.

950PM-Screams can be heard all around as people around the glassed barrier started shrilling when they saw the boys exiting the belt and Dynn and I decided to be poised and get ready-this is the “feel like slapping self part” BECAUSE I FKING FORGOT TO PRESS THE START BUTTON WHEN ANDY AND THE REST PASSED THROUGH THE REDCARPETT SDJKHFGKJKJAGHJKHDAKJGHSDKJGJAK/ gAH I REALLY HATED MYSELF RIGHT THERE AND THEN THANK GOD FOR DYNN SHE MANAGED TO CAPTURE QUITE A FEW GOOD SHOTS OF THE BOYS. Andy looked really really exhausted after the long plane ride but he was adorable he gave us a twist pose. Hyesung was surprisingly friendly and he was waving at us but I cannot help but glance down for he was wearing flip flops and….Jung Pilkyo let me be your stylist please HAHA.Junjin and Eric are the tallest so…they took the largest strides I swear it’s like less than one second and they’re gone.=( They serously walked damn fast omg and Bogeun really has the aura of a star I mean honestly,he would cut out for a celebrity or something. When they strided towards the exit,I was so stunned because the moment was too fleeting and I cannot help but feel mindblown and SO DOWN that I could not catch it on the fancam but….

Credits to Dynn~~~



All of us rushed for the barricades once more to get a good view and what I really loved was that before SHCJs could even see Dongwan from the belts, we already started CHANTING KIM DONGWAN all the way.gahh I really love this fandom.When the man finally arrived-THANKFULLY THIS TIME I MANAGED TO CATCH IT PERFECTLY ON THE FANCAM. Dongwan is honestly the best person around.He didn’t walk as fast as the rest-but rather in a leisurely pace that allowed him to be caught on camera perfectly.He was smiling and his twinkly eyes were just ……he didn’t shave though that was the first thing I noticed but Wannie is an absolute sweetheart he was often smiling and waving at us and his dimples OMFG. Dynn is a ninja she managed to catch the BEST EVER SHOT OF DONGWAN.

Credits to Dynn-can you imagine how artistic this photo was? It’s not buffed or polished at all this was the RAW picture that Dynn’s mobile actually caught and it’s really uncanny how the second the lens captured it,the rest of the guards surrounding Dongwan was blurred out as well as the surroundings and the ONLY CLEAR PIXEL in the photo was one of KIM DONGWAN,the star himself.It’s so clear I feel like crying each time I see it because Dongwan was smiling in the photo and there’s a white speck of light shining above him as though he’s an angel coming down to bless us all.He’s a star.He’s my bias and he’s my star. (no wonder this photo is actually the WALLPAPER of Dynn and I now)

16 JUNE 2012-DDAY

Firstly,I have to thank Min that lovely lovely lovely girl managed to snag the Shinhwa merchandise for Dynn and I she’s definitely our life savior-a shoutout I love you Min!!!! xoxo. I was a bundle of giggles yesterday and was horrendously flustered due to a series of events haha but it’s okay I did went through it unscathed haha. Dynn and I headed to RWS through the monorail and on the way,we chatted with a group of SHCJs from Malaysia.They were so friendly they spoke to us first and were so understanding and all I cannot believe this.SHCJ feels so much like my own family gahhh we are one whole family brought together by OT6.We wandered around RWS and settled down at a cafe for an early dinner after meeting Min and that’s where the real camwhorin began.Okay let’s zoom to the concert itself before I forget what I really need to jot down.


Perfect view for the boys to see us when they swerve their bodies in this direction. (everything was perfect)

THE CONCERT: (pictures credited via their watermarks)

The opening of the concert was majestic.T.O.P is seriously THE SONG of the concert because the opening was so grand and so magical with specks of dreamy green and blue lights decorating the otherwise mist black concert ballroom.It had a wistful effect on all of us and I felt like I was in the middle of a fairytale setting.With a pixie-fairy like girl playing the violin and the magical effects of the staging and all,it felt like a dream. When Shinhwa FINALLY APPEARED,OH BOY WE LOST IT.It’s hilarious though because Dynn started crying already when T.O.P was sung and I was just too stunned to even do anything.When Shinhwa sang Crazy (my most favorite song ever),my tear glands started doing their own thing.ON THEROAD was the song that triggered the waterwells and  I just broke down.From then on,Dynn and I were alternating between smiling,shouting and crying and we were taking turns to clog our eyes with tissues and all it’s really unsightly mind you. Shinhwa oh gosh what on earth are you doing to our emotions??!?!!

PERFECT MAN was the song that made me fall irrevocably with Shinhwa and when I managed to hear that song live and witness all the suave dance moves with my eyes wide open…that feeling.OMFG I CANNOT.It is amazing Shinhwa is amazing everything is just perfect and flawless and nothing hurts at all.  DESTINY OF LOVE was such a heartbreaker Hyesung’s vocals are to die for and I really wish he would ultimately fulfil his dream of being a concert singer because damn Pilkyo can really sing and each time he hit the high notes, Dynn and my tears are immediately seen cascading down our faces because music can always touch one’s soul and HYESUNG is an angel.

The introductory talk saw the boys rambling in all sorts of languages possible and what really made my night was OUR DEAREST LEADER ERIC MUN rambling in English.I am by no means an Eric stan but dammit his English was so good. It still contained a slightly accent and it was being accentuated by his husky baritone voice you have no idea how sexy it sounded.Hyesung’s “WHAT’S GOING ON SINGAORE” just made me go “oh Steve do you know how much I really love you?”. The man of the introduction was really KIM DONGWAN. He really tried he started chattering in Chinese and was asking us how were we in Chinese and he said he was fine too.Then he said that his girlfriend was very pretty and proclaimed ALL OF US as his girlfriends-a man can never have too many girls right. Bias I still exist don’t you know.The thing is, a 33 year old man is trying to please us with his sweet gibberish and still managed to melt so many hearts without overdoing it is worth all the applause in the world and KIM DONGWAN HOW I LOVE YOU SO.

“We are Shinhwa imnida!!!!”


guess he didn’t see that coming haha.Gahhh Singapore SHCJs are honestly THE BEST.

****************THE EXCLUSIVE FANSERIVCE DYNN AND I RECEIVED****************************


Junjin and Eric came over to the right hand side and navigated their bodies in our direction so they were just staring at our category.What made Dynn and I certain was that we were nestled on the 3rd row and we were the only two standing up on the 3rd row.The first two rows HAD NO LIGHTSTICKS (seriously I was slightly mad how can you go to a Shinhwa concert without the orange lightsticks it’s almost blasphemous) BUT IT HAD ITS BENEFITS BECAUSE WHEN RICJIN CAME TO OUR DIRECTION IT MADE IT SO EASY FOR THEM T SEE US RIGHT AWAY.Dynn waved at them and showed a thumbs up and ERIC MUN RETALIATED BY GIVING A THUMBSUP BACK. MAJOR OMFG MOMENT.

and me.HOW DO I SAY I LOVE YOU BABYYYYYYYYYY I was unconsciously doing the heart shape with my body and arms when Ricjin looked towards US AND what shocked me was that JUNJIN SAW IT.HE NARROWED ME BY POINTING AND THEN WAVING OMFG and Dynn and I were constantly going “Eric gave me a thumbs up/Junjin saw my heart/Eric waved at me/Junjin pointed at me” FOR THE LONGEST TIME BECAUSE WE WERE ECSTATIC.What was even more mindblowing was the fact that both of us were beside each other and if both Ricjin spotted one of us THAT MEANS THEY SAW BOTH OF US OMFG. *mindfucked moment* because it was such an exclusive fanservice-the kind that only occurs in your head and I was reminded of what Dongwan once said in a show about Junjin giving the best fanservice-Dongwan ” Junjin gives the best fanservice the girl  he spots amidst the crowd is always the luckiest because he narrows her by pointing and smiling at only her” AND OMFG I GOT A TASTE OF IT LAST NIGHT *uncontrollable sobs* and Dynn finally got the recognition from her bias!!!!!!!! This was rendered the most shocking because Ricjin were the “coldest” at the airport the night before and here they were giving us the best fanservice ever.

Okay having said all that,let’s narrow to the members right now.


DAMMIT LEADER MUN IS HONESTLY THE MOST HANDSOME GUY EVER I CANNOT IMAGINE. He was constantlyat the right side,allowing us to have the best view of him ever.He was tall and stunning and had a fantastic bod-I couldn’t stop staring at his chest and torso because they were so perfect.Eric Mun is definitely the most handsome celebrity I have seen live and no amount of screening and magazines have ever done justice t such a flawless being. Every Eric stan needs to see MUN JONGHYUK live because he is one of a kind.HE’S FREAKING HANDSOME I CANNOT.and Eric raps .SO.DAMN.WELL. FUCKING WELL.His buing buing was EXPLOSIVE I cannot.Until now it’s still echoing in my head because of his uber loud voice and forceful aegyo (all credit given to Dongwan who gave us the best time of our lives byasking Eric to do that aegyo.) No matter what,I love you Eric Mun,as taciturn and reticent as you may be.


MINWOO I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOU ANYMORE.This man is plain awesome he really is the king of all fanserivces.From his facebook pictures and arrival since wednesday to saturday,Minwoo has shown us that he loves us possibly more than we can ever love Shinhwa.Minwoo really loves SHCJs with everything in him and because of that,we cannot offer anything else but several lifetimes worth of unconditional love back to them.He was really adorable with all his aegyo and next to Dongwan he has the sweetest tongue ever.He said that compared to Taiwan and Japan,Singapore is…*thumbs up* You know it I know it silence is golden because actions speak louder than words.Minwoo is awesome I don’t know what else to say but awesome because when it comes to describing abstract emotions that gets the better of you,I am rendered speechless all the time.All I know is Minwoo really loves Singapore.He really does.Singapore made him felt so relaxed after the longest time and I’m glad.He promised that they’ll be back again next year and DEAREST CEO M,I hold you to your words.You have never disappointed and I know you never will.Shinhwa are real namjas.


My bias.I don’t know what to say,but from the first ever airport experience that you gave me,all the fanaccounts that I have read over the years are all proven true because you are really the most consistent man ever.Dongwan is genuinely nice he bothers to put in all the efforts in the world just to make others happy.If it’s even possible I’ll like to say that Dongwan really puts himself in the shoes of the fans and read things from their perspective-otherwise,there’s no way he could have even do all the things that he had done just to tease us into blushing and laughing.Yesterday,it was apparent that Dongwan was trying his best to sing his heart out and he really has a beautiful voice.In all his sincerity and earnesty, I could feel all the trembling emotions running through my veins because that’s what Dongwan do to you.He’s perfect.Sweet and perfect.What was funny was that Dongwan always seems so blur.He was holding his mic at one time yesterday and just…stoning(?) while Junjin and Andy were chattering as though he was lost in his own train of thoughts but that was a major awww moment which made you wish you could just smother that man in the warmest of hugs. I remembered when there was something wrong technically and Dongwan was so upset and Eric was comforting him by putting his hand around wannie’s shoulder as a means of comfort.Such simple acts of concern were really heartwarming.I don’t think I can ever unlove Dongwan,but RE-LOVE him over and over again.


I love you Jung pilkyo.Hyesung I don’t know what else to say,but whoever that thinks he’s a bad dancer really needs to take a backseat and sort things out again because Hyesung CAN DANCE.What is my definition of the inability to dance would be myself who have two left feet and cannot even execute dance steps at all-but Hyesung can.Sure it takes alot of practice but even if he is not the best dancer around,the man tries so damn hard you have to applaud him because he searches for perfection and perfection was revealed yesterday.On top of that,his attempts to speak in English with random shots of words were appreciated and was so endearing.Unlike the rest,he doesn’t speak that much but hearing his crooning vocals was more than enough.I couldn’t take it he really does have an angelic vocal chord and an angelic demeanor.Hyesung was rarely at our side until the end and he was so..high he kept jumping and waving so enthusiastically.What made me so touched was that when he ventured to our side,he started cupping his fingers to shield himself from the blaring stage lights that was blocking his vision of us and he was waving at us with his whole body rocking to and fro-it was as though he was afraid we couldn’t see him and there he was trying his utmost to get a clear glimpse of our faces to show his gratitude and all.I LOVE SHIN HYESUNG.He is not known for his outright fanservices,but he cares.He appreciates.He loves us.He loves SHCJs.


JUNJIN is flawless.He’s the lankiest and really is darn goodlooking in real life.What was extremely touching and commendable was that Junjin was not feeling well for he had injured his back and was asked to sit out,but he insisted on doing the show and dancing along.That is incredibly heartwarming because we know it is painful-but he doesn’t show it.HE ACTUALLY BOTHERED GIVING FANSERVICES and was smiling throughout and I don’t know what else to say.Despite his backache, he was still darn sexy while dancing.I mean,it’s Junjin no matter what he does it’s always full of vim and vigor and there is always a sexy vibe to it.I still cannot believe that he saw my heart because it actually means the whole world to me.Junjin is probably one of the only few who can really understand what is troubling me because he has his own fair share of agony brought by that too.To those who know what I’m talking about,I think you all know that despite Dongwan being my bias,in terms of emotional capacity,Junjin is the celebrity who is the closest to my heart because he understands what it is like and it was him who made the path of loving Shinhwa an “unreturnable” one. I love you Junjin.I really do.How do I say I love you baby~~~


FINALLY OUR MAKNAE,OUR KIWI WANGJA.Andy is bashful and all sorts of cute.I don’t know what else to say,but CUTE to describe Andy because he really is squishy and adorable and I don’t know what else.Andy,like Junjin suffers from backache too but he kept insisting that we gave him strength and made his pain more bearable.he is such a complete sweetheart I don’t even.Andy came over to our side a few things and like Dongwan,he was always asking us to jump and jump.I mean,Andy Lee we jump it’s okay but can you not jump that high because you still have a backache in case you forgot:X all the same,when the boys were talking about the kiwi prince,Andy was trying to control his embarassment and laughter and he kept masking his face with his fingers and when he turned away to the right,our side had the BEST VIEW OF BLUSHING ZOMDY hahahahahaha.Gahh I really love you Lee Sunho.I really do.

Other notable incidents-

Minwoo doing his best to look at every fanboard being held up and reading them-reinstating his rep as the king of fanservices

“LET’S GO OPPA!!!!!!!!!” when Junjin was at Pen B and people from our side screamed

“BUING BUING!!!!” during the intermediary by fans

Minwoo’s cutesy aegyo and kissing Andy during Deep Sorrow

Hyesung nudging Eric to come closer to his knees AKA RICSYUNG MOMENT

Dongwan and Junjin’s coercing of Eric to go “buing buing”



I think I leaked out some stuff,but all these comes right from the pensieve of my memory so..I’m thankful I even managed to jot all these down. Shinhwa Grand Tour was the best but I know given the diehard tenacity of our boys,they will always get better and better.They are on a mission to make the world a more jovial and jocund place and the conviviality of their spirit will always remain with SHCJs even after many years-even when I’m old and gray and full of sleep.

Dear Shinhwa,until we meet again-What I will continue to do because of all of you-

Eric: Like Eric,I will be a person of more action and less words.It’s good to have times of self effacement because life is often seen best from the rearview mirror.One needs to take a backseat and analyse things because Life passes by too fast and if you don’t stop for a moment and smell the flowers,you might just miss them all.It’s good to sit back and indulge in the sereneness of everything,but still take responsibility for the things you should do.It’s okay to be a kid at heart  even when you are 20 or 33 because that means you’ve not been altered that badly by the world.I will try to retain what’s left of my naivety.

Minwoo: It’s always good making people happy.Little gestures like a smile and a kind word goes a long way.The world would always be brighter after smiling and one must never forget to heap praises on people who deserve it.Everyone needs encouragement every now and then and Minwoo is the walking template for all of us.We all need to take a leaf out of his book when it comes with human relations.

Dongwan: Education is and will always be the most vital in life-okay make it-Learning is a lifetime thing.One must never stop learning and reading more.Dongwan has learnt Japanese and is trying to learn Chinese now.He’s one of a kind.He reads inspirational and knowledgeable books and equips himself with all sorts of information-to be more worldly wise and to never.stop.learning.His thirst for knowledge and wisdom always gets to me because a passionate man is the best man around.He’s driven and he’s dedicated.He’s my role model because he makes me wanna do things right.He makes me feel as though I need to get my path straightened out with a defined dream and to to work towards it. I love you Dongwan.I will always remember your words they will be with me for life.

Hyesung: “Parents are for us to love and help,not rely on” I will never forget your words Jung Pilkyo.Parents are the reason why we even exist today and I’m sure for Hyesung who is the 33th generation of the Jung family line, family is the most important to him and he has never failed to remind us that family are the ones who will be with us at the end of the day. The thing is,whatever that Hyesung says always makes sense.He probably has the most “deep sense” in the whole of Shinhwa haha.Thank you Pilkyo for always reminding me of my priorities.Filial Piety.One must always practice that.

Junjin: His relationship with Charlie.We must never forget filial piety once again.What really gets to me is the robustness of Junjin and his never say die attitude.I can never express how much strength and vigor Junjin has given me. Fanaccts of Junjin in real life-most of them aren’t pleasant but the thing is I do dig his attitude.In real life, off the stage he doesn’t bother to cater to anyone’s whimsies and he   treats himself right.I think that is admirable.Of course,I wouldn’t like it if I were the fans but it’s Junjin.It’s Shinhwa.They are humans and they are like us.He gives me strength,makes me want to be stronger than yesterday and makes me believe that if I really want something and do my very best in anything,I will be able to reach for my own star.Thank you Park Choongjae.

Andy: One must always start with a vision.To attain something,one must have a vision and a dream.E.g:Teen Top. Enough said.Andy taught me that no matter what you do,you must always be thankful for your alma mater,or your roots and treat everyone with love and respect-even strangers because the world is full of karma.It’s important to not ignore the needs and desires of others because everything in this world is complementary. Andy,I will be more focused on my path and I will do things right and to always remember to be thankful for everything.

Needless to say, I owe alot to Shinhwa-Forever our OT6.I may be a newly coined SHCJ,but like my ELF counterpart,Shinhwa is a part of me now.They came into my life just when I needed them and for the rest of the years to come,they will always be an irreplaceable part of me because I have come this far and they are partly responsible for who I am today.One life-live it with no regrets.

Thank you my lovely six.You are everlasting.

and so we will make a circle above our heads and keep your places here until you are back again.


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Because I’m extremely biased to Kangta,Super Junior and DBSK,here are their promotional posters of I AM

Okay here goes. Never in my life had I experienced intense and undulated screaming in a movie theatre.Never until SMTOWN I AM hit the shores of Singapore and Dynn(my lovely kpop soulmate and my beautiful buddy)  and I decided to give the documentary/movie a run. The ticket price was hefty, and it was pretty obvious even the movie organizations in Singapore had decided to milk the kpop wave and its franchise for all its worth.Anyway,we decided to go namely for DBSK (Dynn esp) and Super Junior and OF COURSE seeing my HUBBY KANGTA (yes for soccer I have hubby villa,for kpop its always gonna be Ahn Chil Hyun-yes right you may think “continue dreaming” ah but whatever). It was no surprise to find the outskirts of the theater flooded with young fans I mean most of them must be in secondary school and we felt old in that moment. Oh well.

It was freaking surprising the moment Sungmin (yes he was the first person that appeared in the movie) and the crowd screamed. Okay.Next was Kangta AND OMFG I SCREAMED TOO AND IT WAS SHOCKING TO HEAR THE SHRILLS OF MANY OTHERS AS WELL. Over the course of the movie, it seemed as though many of the crowd were made up of Shawols, Sones and a portion of ELFS. Dynn screamed for Super Junior too I’m so proud of her <3333 Anyway, the whole movie ran for 1h 45 min it was close to 2 hours and I would say that it’s probably one of the best documentaries that I have seen in recent years. The movie was relatively fast paced and what I really liked about it was the amount of humanity oozing out of the film. Of course one may argue that it’s supposed to be humane,but that’s not what I mean. What I mean and refer to is the essence of simplicity and the idea of the Beginning in the film.

Whether one likes it or not,it’s impossible to deny the existence and pertinence of the Hallyu wave.  Many of SM’s celebrities are practically household names in the music dictionary of adolescents and even adults who sought an alternative form of entertainment. It’s their era right now and many of these idols are adored by many, and they are often cast in a refulgent light, luminating this dreary world of terrorist attacks, famine, widespread poverty, accusations and violations against human rights. What kpop does is that as cliche as it sounds,it allows everyone regardless of race and language to enjoy music. To savor the jocundity of melody and to consume an entity of perfection even if its non existent in their own lives-kpop is perfectly packaged for such needs-with burnished idols, catchy melodies that lingers around your head long after the music had sung its final note,idols who looked as though they just traipsed out of the walk in wardrobe etc…the undying formula which had spurned many identical renditions of its kind.Smtown I AM presents all of these in one single documentary,and then rebuts them as the movie unfolds and one is exposed to the reality behind all the glitz and the glam.

There’s a saying that goes along the ideas of the world only remembering the first.When you are at the top, you have the whole world at your feet.Your words are their words,your actions are their actions and your life becomes a textbook for these people.When one is at the top, nothing matters.What matters is the present and there is no time more ripe than the present. It’s never going to get any better because what else can you have when the whole world is just a touch,a song or even a smile away? It’s extremely easy for fans to fall into the phrase of worshiping their idols but many often forget that the idols are just like them-they live,breathe,tear and probably break down just as much as the fans do-they just aren’t allowed to show it.The corollary to popularity has got to be the facade that idols have to put.They aren’t allowed to reveal their problems to the public because that would impress a blemish on their shining selves-SM TOWN I AM is everything but that. From the tapes of pre debut days where the idols are often casted in unglam hairstylees with ruffled bedlike hair and sleepy eyes, to unpolished skills and faces that had never been dipped in rouge..they are just like us in every way imaginable.What separates them from us is probably the fact that we do not live a life which caters to the needs of others and we do not sing/dance for a living.The similarity just boils down to the fact that all of us have dreams and all of us want to find our place in this everchanging, extremely turbulent and fickle world.We aren’t that different. Sm town I AM brings us back to the halcyon days of the idols,the days when they were still unpolished jewels and the days when they were the most real. They look at the mirror and see themselves in them and many started off by harboring dreams to change the world-but they slowly realized that before changing the world,they had to change themselves first.Metamorphosis.That’s the key word.

Then and Now.As a fan, seeing the then and now of Kangta,Super Junior and DBSK was extremely heartwarming.It gives back a certain vulnerability back into these idols and that’s what made me love them even more.Ultimately,we’re all dreamers.Without their past histories there wouldn’t be a present them.I’m thankful for that and I know that for the rest of my life,I’ll always love them.One never stops growing and learning in life and we’re constantly tossed along the savage undercurrents of love,fear and loss. Faced with such disparities and such quandaries, it’s easy to just withdraw into a state of self effacement-but one must never forget the first rapture of a dream and the rush of adrenaline and desire that is vital for the steering in the road of Life. Thank you for reminding me of that. Life means movement and even if one is on the right course,upon stagnation he or she faces a 99.9% chance of being run down by an encroaching vehicle.

Many ask me why I like kpop. The question does not hinge on the word “kpop”. I refuse to see it as an exclusive noun because many of us have personal passions of our own and they serve as unseen forces,giving us the additional push during the abysmal times. The reason why there is day and night is because there are always two sides to a view.The day always has to give way to the night and so happiness at its height have to come down someday.When there’s love there’s hate,when there’s gain there’s loss.When there’s darkness,there’s always the dawn.

It’s always darkest before dawn,but if you just hold on for a few more hours or even minutes,the light will slowly filter in.What lies ahead will always be amazing because it is what we make it out to be.

Funny how I gained so much insights through the viewing of a single documentary,a movie that will definitely be regarded as fluff by professional movie critics.

Minho to Kangta: “Thank you for paving our way”

I would say,thank you for paving my way.I will be even braver before now in pursuing my dreams.

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