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Archive for July, 2012

life

The headlines have been rather shocking and despondent lately. RIP victims of the Aurora massacre

From young it would suffice to say that I hate reading newspapers because I showed brief-or little interest in what goes on beyond the peripheries of what I can see. I am not interested and have always adopted the approach of distaste towards matters that don’t really affect my life in anyway.But right now, fresh off my first year in college and it struck me that everything is intertwined in one way or another-and whatever that happens would somehow generate a chain-like effect that would slowly sprawl itself and polarize the entities of the world-that process is what I call “Realization”. As much as we would like to hide under a bedrock and draw a clear line between ourselves and the nonsensical reality, it always has a way of trespassing these invisible lines and coaches us into acknowledging the poignancy of its existence. So I’m no longer that blithely unaware of the world affairs and I can’t view the world through rose-tinted glasses anymore as much as I want to. As a young girl, I loved reading Chicken Soup for the Teenage soul, for the soul etc and one event that was often explored by writers in that series was the pain inflicted during the April 1999 Columbine Massacre. I will never forget that monstrous event which shattered the innocent belief that I held towards the world-that we are all safe and what would kill us would be the wrath of nature/diseases-I could not comprehend how lives would be curtailed so dramatically just merely because it was a moment of fury on one’s part-Hating the world and all that. So the Columbine massacre was tossed away to the reserves of my memory because it was something I never wanted to recall-the apathy of mankind and I could not comprehend what had drove the two kids to be so full of hatred and so full of flagrant excesses in them that they decided to just sink, albeit with everyone else.  “All these shall pass”-> I wish they had knew that. They were barely weeks away from graduating from high school and away from that place forever I only wished they could just hang in there. Then came the Virginia Tech massacre which once again devastated the remnants of hope that I even had in trying to believe in the prevalence of hope. I have always opined with myself that things would get better, life was for the living, but I failed to take in the calculations of adversity and the whims of the imperious powers. I guess not.

Yesterday I was downloading some apps on my phone and it happened to be the apps for world news and as I flitted through headlines quickly, what stunned me was the amount of deaths, disasters and tragedies that plagued us everyday. Here, from my own corner of the earth I am born in a country which is gladly out of the clutches of strife and poverty and then you get the rest of the world that is mired in tumultuous conditions and entangled in bloody internecine. I count my blessings everyday but I wish I was less hasty and I wish I did not get so riled up over the unfortunate happenings in my life-because they can be solved and they can get better and they are affairs which are within my control. Life has a thing of sucking the nectar of joy out of all of us, leaving us to roam the earth with shriveled passions, an empty vessel of a once gregarious self but NO. We cannot submit just like that. As I’m typing this, I’m honestly very thankful for everything that I have now. I know they aren’t permanent, but I pray to God every night that I would treasure what I have. All the hurtful words that are conjured in my head each time I reach a breaking point must not force themselves out of my mouth because then I would not be able to summon them back again. So I persist and I try to be the master of my own etiquette. We must try to avoid altercations that would severe relations because there is nothing as fragile and weak in this world as human ties. Words can hurt and words can do greater damage more than we can ever imagine.

I hope the victims of the Aurora massacre would find their own peace someday. The brevity of life would be often ruminated with a sigh on my part and I grieve for the people I would never know. Somewhere deep down in me it’s as though I was denied the chance of ever getting to know them. There is a chain like effect governing the world and hence strangers can always become friends even when we’re both at the opposite ends of the spectrum. I feel cheated of that possibility. Nothing can ever comfort the bereaved right now, but I can only comfort myself with the fact that these people are probably on their way to Heaven, or the Pure Land or wherever-they will be happy because anywhere is better than here; Earth. Just now I was all riled up again on the unjust of the US media but I shall not go into that because this was supposed to be a sympathetic and a ruminative post. I just hope salvation for mankind would be near,or we may just find ourselves on a one way route towards the pending WWIII, and we would probably fight ourselves to death with merely sticks and stones-reflective of the glory of mankind and how tragically it had collapsed simply because we cannot defeat ourselves in the end so we all go for the kill. In searching for our own utopias we willingly banish ourselves into the doldrums of Dystopia.

I wonder who would have the last laugh.

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