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Archive for May, 2013

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Its been eons since I last came to this space, but its a good thing it probably means that I am more invested with life now and thus I have lesser time to blog, lesser time to keep my online writer persona alive. Anyway, today was the last day of my finals and I’ve officially weaned off my sophomore self! Before junior year arrives, summer awaits. I’m actually excited about junior year because I cannot wait to meet more people; if there’s one thing I’ve learnt this sophomore year, its that life is always all about people. I used to think that being alive means pursuing your dreams, living it out and etc, but recently I’ve encountered many issues that allowed me to sit back, reflect and understand that you don’t invest in yourself or your experiences-you invest in people, fall in love with them, and leave abit of yourself, whoever you were with them, freezeframed; and with that, you’re always with them, you’re in the air they breathe, in their hearts, in every bit of life you’ll always be with them and all of you will likewise, always be with me. I think its funny, the way things have a way of falling apart so that better things can come. Its a trite, a cliche, but when you let go and let live, Life goes on and more pleasant things await. I know I can’t speak coherently now but my mind’s all jumbled up simply because 2013 has been off on a great start and I feel so infinitely blessed its almost blasphemous to want more.

To be honest, this semester (Jan 2013-May 2013) is arguably the most tiresome and the most trying semester ever. I am so spent that I can safely proclaim that not even senior year can top this semester. I started the year by taking a gamble simply because I refuse to be content with the pack of cards dealt to me and I can now say that its all worth it. These few months have indeed been a rollercoaster ride and at every turn I await with abated breath, wondering what lurks in the corner, albeit lamenting over what could have been if things had worked out otherwise. Then I pulled myself back, shook my head and reminded myself to live in the moment because its the only real thing. Whatever’s gone can only dwell in the pensieve of has beens and whatever awaits will come eventually; yet this moment gone is a moment I’ll never get back. I’m glad I lived in the now for this semester and I will continue to, for the rest of the semesters, and for the rest of my life. I’ve always thought James Dean’s “Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today” was becoming overly commercialized, but when I started to parse and tease out the words, the completeness of the quote dawned upon me, and I felt it is all true. I don’t know how to put this in words, but when you’re living life by accepting whatever bullshit it throws you, taking advantage of the now and just giving all you have, then true fulfillment is but a corollary.

I met many special people this semester and every single one of them have played a role in altering my world paradigm, for the better. Especially J,L,C,S. It’s hard to say goodbye its really hard to, but in a world where life is for the living and everything is but ephemeral and transient, I guess we deal with what we have and go on. We all have our dreams and we all want to fly. Be kind, be nice, be considerate; values we tend to forget when we’re staggering through this prodigious road. I can never thank these people enough and I really love them, I really do. I will only wish the best for all of them because such sentient beings they are, and they’ve gave me alot, unknowingly, unwittingly-because we can only invest in people and they are the only good we have. Believing in humanity is not a necessity, but a calling. No longer harboring dreams of changing the world, because the inside needs work first. Hope is a natal reflex, so never stop dreaming folks. Till then, stranger, know that I love you and I always will.

From my own corner of the earth, never more, never less significant.

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