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Archive for December, 2015

Auld Lang Syne

2015 has gone by in a flash. I learned alot this year and as every year is regarded more significantly than the one that has gone by, 2015 has been a spectacular year in every single aspect. What I’ve learned most from this year is that there is no such thing as objectivity. Everything is subjected to relativity, depending on the sociological background of the person who is experiencing it. I guess the moment one understands that “subjectivity” is not merely an activity of the mind, but something that is real and breathing, the corollary is that one is able to finally have a finger on the pulse of events. Instead of merely trying to understand, we go beyond the contours of comprehension and move towards a gradual acceptance of what really is. 2015 has also been a year of travels, of meeting new people, of learning more of different cultures and diverse beliefs. It has been a year of stepping out of my comfort zone and trying to find silver linings in every encounter and every experience. My faith has been tried and questioned, my beliefs placed under rehabilitation and my resolution undermined continuously by factors beyond my control. But they say that while happiness is ephemeral, suffering and sadness too are fleeting. What struck me most poignantly this year is the fragility of human relationships. What took years to consolidate may be undermined easily by the callousness of time or by one simple event that did not seem to matter much to the other party, but means the whole world to you. Perhaps it is all about tempering one’s expectations and accepting that people hold varying values and react to situations differently. While effort may not always be reciprocal, relationships are always a two-way street. Not burning bridges does not mean that one renders the maintenance of bridges non-compulsory. There is only enough time spent apart before one realizes that too much time has passed to mend estranged ties again. The tricky thing is, when do we know when’s the next time or when is ever the last time before you can meet the other next? We are changing constantly. We change from day to day, from taste to taste, from experiences to experiences. While one preaches that self-love is the biggest priority of a person, what about the fact that no man is a lone island in this increasingly connected world? I have been grappling with myself in the course of finding this answer, of trying to find a middle ground in the balancing act of holding on and letting go.

Today, I realize that letting go and forgiveness are not actions that need to be verbalized, but rather are actions that need to be accepted by one’s heart. You commit those actions for yourself and not for anyone else. I have found it within my own soul to understand that in this too big world, having met specific individuals and being able to embark on the same path with them for a certain period, is a privilege. Maybe that alone is enough. We all have our own things to do and our paths to walk in the future. Being able to come to this realization hurts and it takes awhile to let it settle in but it’ll work out eventually. After all, 越撑心会闷, 越闷心会冷。现在的放手是以后的成全。

2016 will bring lots of changes in the life that I’ve known for the last ten to fifteen years. For the first time I will begin the year not as a student, but as a working adult. That in itself is a huge change and I am honestly very very afraid. I cannot pinpoint what I am scared about, but I feel as though this is gonna be a life-changing year. It’ll be a year where I’ll wean off old friends and make new ones, a year where I will continue to challenge myself and to grow more. I don’t know what else to expect, maybe I should expect nothing at all and just go with the flow. Right, I’ll go with that…then again, a few days later I’ll be “okay what the heck WAS I THINKING???” Excuse this incoherence, but you get my point. Oh well. Everyday is a new day to try something new, so I’ll see how it goes.

Philosophy for 2016: 用最好的心情面对最坏的事。(to always face the worst things in life with the best optimism one can muster)

Till then, I hope you have a brilliant year ahead. I hope that you will always have the strength and courage to brave through all the turbulences in life. May you laugh and cry just as easily because that will mean that you’ve always been steadfast and loyal towards your own emotions. You feel because you are alive and no one can take that away from you.

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