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Archive for May, 2016

The first quarter of 2016 has just passed and we are into May now. 2016 has been a teacher in its own right, dealing cards that were rather surprising, and hard to handle at times. But I am glad to say that I have emerged stronger, albeit battered all the same. I officially entered the workforce this year, and boy must I say that life is indeed, never a bed of roses. From questioning my own mental faculties to suspecting my own language prowess, there were countless times where I doubted myself and my own abilities–I still do. But I have learned to accept that whatever life deals me, it’s to make me stronger and while I continue to make mistakes, I am more knowledgeable than whom I was yesterday,a month ago, and definitely a teeny bit wiser than the girl who started her first day of work, bleary-eyed, and unsure of everything else. The last few weeks have been crazy for me, and challenging at the same time. My self-esteem was also dealt a great blow when I realised that I could not handle something as easy as compressing a file or editing the backdrop of a slide that is by default, a photograph which someone had photoshopped. My inefficient self can hardly handle the wonders of technology and I felt incredibly dim-witted and incompetent all at once. But I am learning, everyday. I hope there will come a day when I would be able to deal with such issues well and I hope to stay curious through everything else. Pick the battles you wanna fight; that is my mantra as issues come flying at me unexpectedly at work, and in life. No one says that growth is easy. Growing up was, and always is painful and I realised that I have a long way to go. It’s not about falling or failing–it’s about remembering the reasons that brought me here in the first place.

With all that is being said and done, I am also been lucky to have wonderful people by my side through everything else. At my workplace, I have warm, friendly colleagues. The working environment is quite collegiate, even though many of the colleagues are in their thirties or late twenties. I learn alot through my conversations with them and they inspire me everyday. I have also met someone, or a few whom have taught me life’s greatest lessons–he taught me to be kind and gracious and to always extend a helping hand because life is tough enough, she taught me to be calm and composed no matter the situation and he also taught me to smile through the ups and downs, and that everyone loves a sincere soul, who is responsible when he has to be, and yet not take life that seriously. I swear, in this world, if we do take life that seriously, the news will be splattered with people whose lives have ended too prematurely– not that there aren’t already a couple of such cases reported every single day. But I have been blessed. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by my current batch of colleagues.  I am glad that for my first job, I have met so many sentient beings that it will hurt to say goodbye. I will be devastated when that day comes, but I am also aware that one day, I will be the one who leaves, because things will come full circle, and that every encounter must be completed with a farewell. Adults who have seen and experienced more than I do, commented that once I’ve worked long enough, I’ll come to understand that people come and go– but I also think that while we have little control over who comes into our lives, it is up to us to decide if they are keepers. Fate is a word that is easily trivialised these days–people simply use fate as a shorthand term to explain why certain people leave, why relationships wilt and why some folks only exist as photographs. But I honestly feel that we can only lament the ending of a relationship only after we have tried hard enough.

Speaking of relationships, I also mended a friendship with an old friend. From this experience I learned that while we are careful with our words and we do not speak in a fit of anger,wounds can only heal when it is exposed to air. There is little use if we keep mum about it and just “let it pass”, because honey, nothing really passes unless you let it to. Time heals wounds only when you’re no longer holding onto that memory with a clenched fist.  I am glad that we  resolved a misunderstanding that would have surely led to some form of regret on my part had I not broached it. I knew myself too well to understand that had I not mustered the courage to bring up the issue, I would have let myself lose a precious friend. Because we have mended our relations, I can now let this friend go. I will be able to accept that perhaps one day this friend–this person would only be a footnote in my life, but I will also be comforted by the fact that yes, I had tried, and we both had tried–so there are no regrets; only learning points and good memories. Things change not only  because we are no longer who we were, but because life has other plans installed for us. Unfortunately the other isn’t assigned a role in that chapter. Things need not end, but they hardly stay the same. The question we should ask is, does it matter if things change? How can we expect things to remain the same when change is the only constant, and that change would also bring growth?

because there will come a day when the risk to remain tight in the bud hurts more than the risk taken to blossom.

With that, I end here for now. Dear you who are reading this, I hope you’ve been inspired, or slightly moved by this post. I just want to tell you that you are never alone in this world. It’s amazing, what links and  queries have led you to this post– Though I may never have a chance to know you, or who you are, I’ll like to think that you’re similar to me in the sense that we are both trying our best to find our place in this world, and whatever we are doing is for a cause that is greater than our own–I hope wherever you are, in this virtual space, you are also trying to be better than whom you were yesterday, and maybe with abit of luck and lots of hard work and determination, you’ll get there. I wish you well.

 

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