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A thousand Dreams of Leslie Cheung.

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So this post, in lieu of April 1st 2003 (I will do another post nearing that date itself) , dedicated to the brightest star in the sky, Leslie Cheung Kwok Wing 張國榮

I remember gushing on this blog over Danny Chan three years ago and now, it’s finally Leslie’s turn. What I regret is that it took me another three years to reconcile Danny and Leslie together. I think I’ve heard of Leslie Cheung since forever because he was one of the most adored and cherished celebrities of the 80s and you know, me being me…a softball for all things old and glorious just had to know who this person was. For many many years, Leslie Cheung had always been a semantic and perhaps,a semiotic familiarity to me. His face graced countless covers of magazines, his songs were often broadcasted over Hong Kong television dramas and many of today’s most coveted veterans were partners with Leslie some time in their careers. However, it is with regret that I admit my very first impression of Leslie came not from these devices, nor from my mom’s ardent love for Leslie (he was her teenage obsession), but when I was 11, on April 1 2003, the front pages of the newspaper told me all I needed to know then about this person- Leslie Cheung, Hong Kong’s King of pop, the Chinese favorite flower boy..had committed suicide. The next few days saw a flurry of memorial activities, all celebrating the life and love of Leslie and my very first visual memory of Leslie then was the picture of him on I weekly. The next most vivid memory I have of Leslie was in December 2004, in my first trip to Hong Kong where my tour bus went past the Mandarin Oriental and the guide sighed and remarked that the hotel was the place of Leslie’s death-he had jumped off from the 24th storey of the hotel. Before I approached my teenage years, it was with the notoriety of Leslie’s death did I step into the age where you fully embrace idols, celebrities and all sorts of entertainment. It is now, 8 years after that I fully appreciate the beauty of the maven who is Leslie Cheung.

Many people can be a singer, many people can be actors or actresses, many people can even be one of the most glorified thespians of their time, but it takes a whole lot of grit, a whole lot of charisma and enigma to be a Star. The West have their Michael Jacksons and Madonnas, and the Oriental East have Leslie Cheung and Anita Mui. Nicholas Tse was right to say that the golden age of HK cinema and HK music was over. What HK dreadfully lacked now was the star quality that had graced the screens and stages of 80s HK. Maybe it is human fallacy to see the Past via rose tinted glasses, maybe the mnemonic devices pay ample sympathy to what is gone, maybe…yet you cannot deny that there is a semblance of truth.

My very first song of Leslie was Monica, and till this day it is still my favorite song and my favorite live performance. My very first video concert of Leslie was his duet with Danny Chan and till this day it still remains my most poignant concert performance. Danny and Leslie, my most adored duo of the 1980s and my heart’s two golden boys.

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Danny and Leslie, in happier times

Then comes the point when the manacles of nostalgia springs its roots around me and I remain seated, choked in the memory of gone years. Before I deviate and start talking about Danny’s demise which could have been prevented, that will be another story for another day. Recently, I’ve been bombarding my mom with questions about her memory of Leslie-what was he really like in the 1980s? Was he really that popular and enigmatic? Was he with his cherub face and melancholic eyes always everyone’s favorite boy? What did the media know about him? With my mom’s recollection of Leslie, alongside biographies of Leslie which I found and just sitting down watching his movies and listening to his songs…I think I have found an answer. Perhaps. What remains a perennial mystery was Leslie’s state of mind amidst the fame and grandeur. Then my mind started entertaining the whispers of what could have been-an alternative history. He could have continued to be so great, so loved …yet he probably wouldn’t because the nature of 90s HongKong, a world which shunned the old and embraced the new, a society which undergone such a rapid pace of change after 1997 was no longer the same Hong Kong which nurtured and saw the rise of stars like Anita and Leslie. Post 1997 Hong Kong was no longer the idyllic city of old-it pulsates even more with life, with its frenetic buzz and with that came the ushering of youth and all things new. Struggling to find a place in the world which no longer can harbour you was probably the most urgent threat towards Leslie’s existence. On hindsight, Richard Corliss knew Leslie enough to conclude that Leslie’s depression, along with his bitterness towards a world he no longer could relate to were partners in the crime of denying Leslie Cheung. Leslie, was the quintessential Dorian Gray.

Discovering Leslie now, and loving him may be 10 years too late, but I’m sure, he’ll revel in the fact that a girl, who was way too young to live through his golden years loves him as much as she loves the living celebrities now. Three years ago, I wished Danny Chan knew that I loved him and he’ll always be my idol. He still is. Three years later, Leslie came into the picture and here’s me sending him a message to eternity-that no matter what, for the rest of my years, Leslie…too will have an exclusive position in the eaves of my heart. He’ll always be my brightest star.

永遠懷念你,張國榮。

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4 DEC 2011- A DATE WITH DBSK.

TVXQ FANPARTY SINGAPORE 4 DEC 2011

We arrived at the stadium quite early~

The pretty pearl ruby red ocean that I was a part of~

The wristbands we wore~

HANDSOME LEADER IS HANDSOME.

The CUTEST MAKNAE EVER.

SERIOUSLY YUNGUNS AND YUNCHEST *-*

Boys with the host and translator~

I LOVE HOMIN SO DAMN MUCH ;AAA;

Dynn and I~

View from our seats~

The pearl red balloon =D

I really love the lightstick <3333

Okay,so I’m just gonna type this fanaccount first~ Waiting for my friend’s pictures before I post the others alongside those professional pictures from last night. 4 DEC 2011-HONESTLY ONE OF THE BEST NIGHTS I EVER HAD.IT WAS EQUIVALENT TO 29 JAN 2011.

I finally fulfilled my dream of seeing DBSK,even though it’s currently Homin now,but like all Cassies,I’ll always keep the faith.Somehow,things always fall apart so that better things can come together.Okay So.Where should I start.Let me start off in the noon where Dynn and I went to get the merchandise first.

So I met Dynn at the stadium MRT and we went to get the merchandise.We were told that the merchandise would only be sold at 4pm,but we arrived at 3pm and woah,there were already people buying!!! I intended to only buy the posters but the LIGHTSTICKS WERE SO DAMN PRETTY I JUST COULDN’T RESIST.It had the words “TVXQ FANPARTY SINGAPORE 2011” imprinted on it and for memory’s sake I just had to buy it.Both of us were so happy when we could finally get our hands on the merch and Dynn bought this towel which was beautiful,but I had money constraints(for FEB 2012 of course) haha and she said she’ll tag me in that pic so yipee.We left the Stadium for dinner-> FAST FORWARD TO 6PM

There was a long queue to go into the stadium and my,the weather was so humid and yet it was raining.Honestly the Singaporean weather is totally berserk. Anyway,the thing is as we were queuing to get in,we were standing outside the stadium level 2 itself and OMG WE COULD HEAR HOMIN PRACTICING FOR THE FANPARTY.THE FIRST SONG WAS HOW CAN I and I was squealing inside,like OMG HOMIN AND I ARE JUST SEPARATED BY A WALL. and there was this blind covering the walls and Dynn noticed that the lightings could be seen from the peekaboo space and OMG FLASHES OF LIGHT I WAS THRILLED. It was hilarious when they started rehearsing for WHY because the moment we heard the beats of WHY,EVERYONE STARTED SHRIEKING.It commanded such a huge response I DON’T EVEN KNOW.The rehearsal just whetted my appetite for the show.When we FINALLY went in,I was a bundles of nerves.I was kinda pissed actually because while waiting for the show,they were playing SNSD music.I mean,I love SNSD and I have nothing against the 9 beautiful and lovely girls,but HELLO THIS IS A TVXQ FANPARTY SHOULDNT YOU BE DAMN PLAYING TVXQ MUSIC!!??!?!? =( I feel like the organizers or whoever that chose that music wasn’t respecting the guests of the party and it wasn’t only me who was not happy.You could practically hear the grumble when Mr Taxi was aired.

FINALLY,WHEN THE LIGHTS SHUT DOWN,THERE WAS THIS BEAUTIFUL SEA OF RED.It was small,but the sea of red was gorgeous.You know what’s good about fandoms?It’s that they make you feel like you’re part of one.All along,I’ve always thought as myself as being a hardcore and staunch ELF,but I just couldn’t suppress my love for DB5K.I just couldn’t and it was that impulse which drove me to attending Homin’s fanparty in Singapore.I went with Dynn who was a Cassie for  years and boy,I was just…but when I stepped into the stadium and held the pearl ruby red lightstick,I knew I could belong here.I really felt like I was a Cassie since forever.I mean,what binds Cassies together is their eternal love for the 5 boys,which is what binds ELFs together too.The love for all of our boys will always surpass our individual statuses. The lights went down and they started flashing the 16 min long video of Before you Go to excite the audience and OMG I COULDN’T EVEN STOP SCREAMING.FIRST 15 MIN AND I FELT LIKE HALF MY VOICE WAS GONE.

FINALLY.THE LIGHTS DIMMERED AND YUNHO ENTERED THE SCENE WITH THE DANCERS. GUESS WHAT SONG?!?! YES IT’S MAXIMUM. OMG I swear of all the fancams which I took, Maximum has got to be the best because the security guards were not really in action-as in they weren’t lawfully “clamping” down on “offenders” BUT THEY WERE REALLY ANNOYING.I understand it’s their job,but HELLO WE PAID SO MUCH why do you even have to be so stringent sobs.At least I managed to take albeit short,but audio-video clips of How Can I and Before you Go and a short excerpt of their interviews which was really,better than nothin=D Gonna depend on the awesome people at the moshpit for HD quality videos *winks* Okay,so Jung Yunho is honestly ONE OF THE BEST DANCERS AROUND.HE IS FREAKING AWESOME AND SEXY AND CHARISMATIC AND DANCES WITH SO MUCH PASSION HE LITERALLY TOOK THE WHOLE STAGE BY STORM. Changmin was so handsome sobs.He really had big eyes and nice curls and a toned body and Homin was strikingly tall they are like twin towers.Sobs both are so wellbuilt and their outfit for the night was white and sleeveless and DID SO MUCH JUSTICE to their toned arms.I mean,from where I was sitting,I could make out their features perfectly(even though the camera couldn’t) and their arms.OMG THE RIPPLING VEINS DJSHGDJGHDKJAHDK. In pictures Changmin look lankier than Yunho and not as buff,but in real life,they are both on par.Changmin really has built up so well.Sobs I sound like a mother and Changmin’s my son haha. Changmin tries so hard not to be cute but he is genuinely squishy and  adorable and Yunho is emblematic of CHARISMA IN HUMAN FORM. After Maximum Homin sat down with us with the host and the translator for the night and I really couldn’t take my eyes off them.They were so enigmatic and eyecatching and so…they had so much stage presence. Yunho was seriously a ball of sunshine.He couldn’t stop smiling and throughout the whole show,I kept thinking “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO “UNLOVE” YOU NOW.I CAN’T I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JUNG YUNHO!!”  Unlike pictures and videos,where Yunho often look more stoic and more masculine,in comparison he looks so “soft” in real life,like so much friendlier and amiable and so good looking.He kept smiling and was so cheerful and omg it’s hard not to catch his enthusiasm. Changmin on the other hand was more reserved and he wasn’t smiling 24/7(haha) but he’s a beauty.He’s so modelesuqe and Changmin kept looking in the direction of me and Dynn,to which we frantically waved our lightsticks and Idk whether he saw it,but HE NODDED.SO CUTE RIGHTTTTT. Changmin was also really really really smart.They had a series of questions where the boys were asked about Singapore and Yunho was trying to be so adorable and so cute my poor heart….when Yunho was asked on the four main languages of Singapore, he started “English,Chinese,Malay,Korean..and Indian” I WAS LIKE SERIOUSLY LEADER.hahah and Changmin took the hints of fans so wisely he got every singe question correct-that brat hahah for example,the one on the national flower which was the Orchid and fan started saying”O O O” hahahhaha. Yunho was asked on what Changmin meant to him and the boys were taken aback by the question-can’t blame em it’s an awfully private question but Yunho thanked Changmin for always being there for him through the tough times and helped him to shoulder the heavyload of responsibilities that come by when you are a leader and I’m just. BOYS I REALLY ADMIRE YOUR FRIENDSHIP. STAY STRONG OKAY.

The boys were asked to speak in Singlish too.Yunho was like “the chilli crabs here are so Shiok” and Changmin was like “Alamak why do we have so many Singaporean fans here? but NO PROBLEM LAH.”  HONESTLY SHIM CHANGMIN IS A GENIUS.He latches on things so fast and that is so befitting of his high IQ.Intelligence is really the way to my heart haha. When Homin first appeared and sat down,they looked abit stiff but that is understandable for it’s their first time in Singapore and they aren’t really sure what to do.There were some glitches in communication where there was no translator and Yunho was puzzled.He looked at Changmin while speaking in Korean and Changmin stared back at him and muttered in korean.Their “helplessness” was so cute but Cassies,being Cassies just shrieked and laughed at every single word spoken from the boys’ mouth haha and as usual,they said that they were pleasantly startled by the warm passion exuded from Singapore and Yunho was so apologetic when he said “I’m sorry Singaporean fans have to wait for 7 years which is really long,but we will come here more often in the future” THAT IS THE GOLDEN LINE. Yunho is honestly one of the best leaders around. Changmin was really really really cute.When he was asked about his FAVORITE FOOD IN SINGAPORE (well we saw that coming hehehehehe), he said “HAIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. CHILLI CRABS” and smiled cheekily. OMG I didn’t exploit the use of the “Zs” okay he really sighed for such a long time haha and I was like typical maknae hehe Homin really loved the chilli and pepper crabs here which is a must try staple food for foreigners in Singapore =D.

The quote of the night belonged to Changmin ” OKAY,YES LET’S GO!!!” honestly.

Yunho’s “NI MEN KAI XIN MA? WO YE HEN KAI XIN?” Bravo leader<3333

They performed a total of 7 songs-Maximum, How Can I, Before you Go, The way you are,Mirotic, Rising Sun and Why. I loved all the songs and How Can I showcased the duo’s vocals perfectly.I love Changmin’s drawling,satin like voice.If Kyuhyun’s voice was velvet-like, then Changmin has to be satin like.Why can’t I fall asleep every night to the crooning of Minnie’s voice sobs. BEFORE YOU GO was my favorite song of the night and I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THAT SONG TO BE PERFORMED. OMG THAT SONG WAS THE SEXIEST.I MEAN,HONESTLY, AS THOUGH THE DANCE VERSION OF THE SONG WASN’T HOT ENOUGH, BUT SEEING THE BOYS PERFORM THAT IN REAL LIFE WAS TRULY THE BOMB. IT OOZES WITH SO MUCH SEX APPEAL ARTISTICALLY AND SIGH. The fanchants were really the blast and wayyyyyyyyyyy awesome.We didnt even coordinate yet everyone was in unison singing along, and chanting along.My favorite was in WHY where everyone chorused “waeeee” and.

“NOW I’M JUST CHILLIN FEEL LIKE I’M HEALIN”-Changmin,Why. THE WHOLE STADIUM ROARED TOGETHER WITH CHANGMIN. It was like, I was totally not expecting it but the lines just slipped off my lips as though I’ve known the lyrics my entire life.I told Dynn “you will end up screaming trust me” and she really did.GLAD SHE ENJOYED HERSELF we kept looking at each other and laughing and seriously best night in December so far. The same thought struck our heads when we were watching the fanmade videos. The first video was really touching but the second one…was drawn by the girl and it was focused on Changmin and when she drew the picture of Changmin crying for GDA 2008,I teared up.Before that the tears were culminating in my eyes but it just couldn’t flow out-I turned and looked at Dynn and there she was crying.I turned back to the video and the moment that Mirotic image of Changmin crying appeared,omg the tears flowed out and I hastily wiped them away haha. Sigh and Changmin was constantly NODDING HIS HEAD throughout the whole duration of the video I really wondered why. It was so cute hahah and both Dynn and I wanted to run up to the stage and backhug HOMIN so badly.THEY ARE SO STATUESQUE AND LOOKED SO PERFECT,EVEN FROM THE BACK.SOBS. Yunho started off by signing the poster for the winner of the fanvideo and Changmin followed suit afterwards and scrawled a Heart with stripes  on the poster,to the shrilling of Cassies haha and he said he almost cried and commented bashfully “thank you for drawing me so beautifully” PERFECT AWWWW MOMENT RIGHT THERE.

All together in summation one thought remained in my head- OMG I BREATHED THE SAME AIR AS HOMIN.

Nah to be honest, DBSK are kings.They are really kings.The amount of stage presence they have cannot be compared at all. They are so seasoned yet they try their best and put in so much effort everyday.I love them so much.Oh and Changmin-in music videos one’s attention is always drawed to Yunho for he is truly a maestro at dancing, but in real life yesterday I have to say that Changmin really PUTS IN THE SAME AMOUNT OF EFFORT as Yunho in dancing.He really tries so hard,that boy and I really respect him for that.It was weird though when Changmin was smiling during Rising Sun haha and at the beginning during Yunho’s part where Minnie had to scream “NOOO”,it was hilarious when the audience screamed with him “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” too haha.

4 DEC 2011-the night I saw DBSK Homin live and I have finally fulfilled my twin dreams of seeing both Super Junior and DBSK live. Iwon’t ever forget how they looked like to me. Their image is now forever stored in the reserves of my memories. 2011 had been so kind to me and my parents have been so supportive of this starchasing dream,which I really thank them for that. I will always continue to be a CassiELF and love DBSJ with all I have in me.They will always continue to have an ephemeral presence in my life and be a force that keeps me so strong.I love them,more than words can say.Anything is possible as long as you KEEP THE FAITH AND PROMISE TO BELIEVE.

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Dear Siwon,

First I must say that you are nothing short of amazing.Sometimes,you are so amazing that I am rendered speechless and I don’t know how to start.As I try to recall stuff that happened eons ago such as how did I get into kpop and stuff,you are the FIRST image that comes to my head.Yes,it was thanks to you that I entered the world of kpop and I’ve been hooked ever since.It was you who brought me into this amazingly new world-a world that I had never dreamt to be part of and used to ignore until that day I saw you in some magazine and I was immediately enthralled,enticed and attracted to.I must say that you are REALLY GOOD LOOKING,REALLY HANDSOME,REALLY HOT AND PICTURE PERFECT.Really.Even though I fell in love with you at first based on a superficial reason-I had liked you and wanted to know more about you..it slowly evolved to love when I knew more about you-about your character,your background,your personality and I see that there is so much more to that good looks and perfect built.You are so much more  than just being a picturesque man.I don’t exactly know what to say because what I feel towards you simply cannot be expressed in words.Let’s just say that you are the most alluring man that I know and perhaps,will ever know.

Siwon,it’s not difficult to notice you in Super Junior since you are forever standing at the centre and look the most “masculine” among the boys.I love you Siwon,not because you are attractive-but because you are more than that-more than the world gives you credit for.If I have to say the truth,the truth is that your outward appearance mirrors your inner self-I see a nice and beautiful soul,a generous heart that gives and gives.The things you would do for your members amazes me.THe simple things such as always being there as a pillar of strength for Donghae,always listening to Donghae and always giving Donghae a hug whenever he needs it…just makes my heart so happy.It’s not only Donghae,but everyone else.I still remember your distraught frame in Happy Camp when Hangeng and you apologised for not being able to film the show due to the terrible accident in Korea and you just couldn’t bring yourelf to laugh and crack jokes and have fun,because a part of you was severely affected.I still remembered how you cried when Super Junior won their first ever Mutizen award and it touched my heart.Like really.Like wow,the smiley and tough Siwon who rarely shows his teary emotions really cried and I realize,I needed to protect you and love you too because even if you acted like a man,you’re just a boy at heart.I can feel it.Even though you are definitely not the oldest,but it seems as though you are one of the parents of Super Junior-the one that everyone can count on.I  will never forget how in SS2 Shanghai,you protected Zhou Mi and Henry from the only 13s and when they were booed upon.You clearly did not mask your dissatisfaction and made sure you stood beside them for the rest of the night.Such simple gestures really make me think you are an Angel Siwonnie.To protect the innocent people who always get hurt.I remember how you thank the Thai fans in SS3 when they so ardently supported the two and at that moment,I just couldn’t help but tear up because I just feel so happy that I’m in love with one of the most wonderful men ever.Recently,I saw in an interview that you did in 2007 with a magazine and you said “The member that I want to be the most is Kyuhyun.I want to bear the pain for him” and let me tell you this-I immediately teared up when I saw that.I’m really so happy,so touced and so awed at your big heart and love for your members I don’t even.How much you lov Kyuhyun,that evil maknae of ours is unimaginable I guess;the fact that you actually said that just reiterated the kind of person you are-generous,self sacrificial and warm hearted.Donghae said once that you were clearly one of the nicest and sweetest person he’s ever known,that you cried uncontrollably in 2008 when the Sichuan earthquake occured and many lives were taken away.You not only love your members and your fans so much Siwon,you love people and Life itself and because of that,I cannot possibly love you without all I have,because you deserve as much love as you give out.<33333

I know stardom has not been an easy path for you,from meeting the parental objection to making it big in the fickle entertainment industry.But I can gladly say that you’ve made it dear.It’s funny,you didn’t have to go through all the tiring things that predebut trainees have to do,you could have just comfortably go through your student life and graduate and do something else,but you chose the tougher path of being an entertainer and the fact that you had to start everything from scratch as your dad refuses to support you claiming that you could be on your own since you even made it through the auditions.I’m sure you made him very proud,as you’re so successful now.You wouldn’t even call yourself being successful,but to me you are.Oh Siwon,I need to thank you for something.Thank you for being Hangeng’s confidant in his early years in SM.Hangeng has always said that it was you who had accompanied him through his tough times,when he was in a strange country,exposed to the unfamiliar environment and an even unfamiliar language.You would often speak to him in the bits of Chinese you know and make him feel at home.I cannot imaginne the amound of comfort that you had brought to Geng and perhaps,if it wasn’t for you and Heechul,Geng would feel even more horrible.You are truly heavensent,Siwon.I love you Siwon,really.From your bigheart to your joker smile to your gentlemanly instincts to your derp faces to your handgestures,You are wonderful and will always be.Did I mention how you are the only one who can pull off a derp face and still look decently good?I swear you look good from every angle and even if your features are scrunched up,you will still look decent.You know why?It’s because beyond the surface level,you have one of the most clear and beautiful heart that shines through and it’s impossible to dislike you.Don’t be so hard on yourself Siwon.I know you feel like you still have eons to go before you attain your own goals and stuff,but so far,you’ve been doing extremely well and ELFs will always know your name and remember your name with much love and affection.Continue being you,continue your dorky jokes and funny expressions,continue making hand gestures and derp faces to make us laugh and continue being a Choi Siwon that ELFs,Super Junior and God are proud of.You are everyone’s Angel Choi Siwon and will always be.

I wish you all the best,our prince Charming.Seriously,I’ve always thought that Prince Charmings are the stuff of fantasy and doesn’t exist in the real world,but right now I think I’ve found one…in Super Junior.From head to toe,from inside out,from every ounce of being in me,I can truly say that you are the storybook perfect man.Not because of who you are,but because of what you’ve done and what you’ve made people feel.All your imperfections have formed the way you are today and thank you for bringing so much light into my life.I will always remember how you looked in SS3 Singapore,how happy you were when you were singing that prayer song and how you dorkily asked”do you want to go with me to church tomorrow morning?” and I’m glad that I am aware of your existence.You give so much love to your fans and the world and the world needs all the love it can get.So thank you Siwon.Thank you for introducing me to this world where I feel so happy and learnt so many things,thank you for loving your members and guiding them(I know Donghae looks up to you so much you are really such a good influence on him),thank you being …you.I love you Siwon,it’s okay if people say that all you have is looks and nothing else-for that I need to rebutt because even if you are not the best singer or dancer or actor,you are still one of the most special people to me because you are the way you are and I love you for being that way. You know how you walk through Life and some people just come by,alter the way you are and expose yourself to bigger views and wider pictures and you are never the same again? Well,you are one of them.Even though we are not friends or anything,but the fact that I am aware of your existence,able to know about you and keep in touch with you through media,the net and stuff just makes me feel so lucky.You taught me to always look on the brighter side of Life,to always hang tough and always smile through the rain.There are times so depressing I forget about that,but it’s still better than nothing because at least,I have a role model whom I can look up to.For the rest of my Life,Siwon,I will never forget you and I wish you all the best.Thank you for everything and when I am old,I will tell my grandchildren about the one man that inspired me so much in my teen years and opened an alternative route to neverending laughter,happiness and inspirations to me,in the form of Super Junior,kpop and Life itself..I love you Siwon,with all I have in me and May God bless you Choi Siwon.<3333333333333333

Always,your Siwonest,

Mingyee<3333333

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Dear Donghae(okay this sounds.),

You will definitely NOT be reading this but I need to get this out of my chest.In case you don’t know,I’ve been loving you for quite some time already and I must say that I’m more and more in love with you as each day passes.From your smile,to your eyes to your hair to your arms to your throat to your friendly and amiable demeanour and beautiful soul and personality,I cannot find a thing that I do not love about you.I remember my first impression of you was “oh this other SJ dude beside Siwon” in Ariel Lin’s music video and I simply shrugged you off as I was far too bedazzled by Siwon then.However once I quickly immersed myself in the intricate world of SuperJunior,I slowly shifted my attention to you.You have the glibest tongue in the world do you know that?You totally captured my heart with those sweet words and EVEN THEN,I was still not convinced…until I saw your solo stage.I saw the way you danced,and I knew I was in it for life.The way you danced.It was totally different from Hangeng’s.I still remembered that Hangeng’s dancing style was slightly robotic,very agressive and incredibly hot and swoonworthy and I was amazed,however when I saw you dance,I was stunned.Literally.Lee Donghae,you are most beautiful when you dance and you seem the most alive.Others like Geng and Hyukjae rule the dancefloor with almost a treble of violence and strength,but your was smooth,slick and even romantic.The way you dance in Don’t Don and other mvs,it seems so effortless and there is a certain GRACE to your movements and it totally enthralled me.It seems as though the inner spirit in you is unleashed on the dance floor.Yes,dancing Hae has got to be my favorite.I never showed interest in dances and I never knew how to appreciate dance moves,but it was only until you came and Super Junior came that I realized that dancing is an art,dancing is a passion and dancing is LIFE itself.

Furthermore Lee Donghae,you’ve got to be the celebrity whom I know who cries the most.But that is such an adorable aspect of you.In fact I guess one part that attracts me to you has got to be the fact that we seem to be alike in so many ways.We fear to be alone,hate to be neglected,cry too much for our own good,loves skinship and need to have what we want or else a tantrum will arise.I can almost see myself reflected in your personality and  that is something so precious I don’t even.When I first got to know you,I love your vivacious and bubbly and attention seeking personality,however it seems as though there was something behind that smile,something that I did not know yet…until I saw this interview one day and you were crying over your father.At that moment,it totally broke my heart Hae,to see you cry.The boy who loves to smile,the boy who loves to bully Hyukjae and adores Siwon and Kibum,the boy who loves to hog the camera,is actually just a boy who misses his father so much.He’s every girl’s dream man,but he is just a boy who has to shoulder his father’s big dreams.He gave up his own dream of being a soccer player to fulfil his dad’s wishes of being a singer.That itself is a huge responsibility to carry.Our innocent Hae is forced to grow up fast-he’s still the same boy who cried in the toilet when Hyukjae and Junsu teased him about changing when he’s famous,only now He is a member of Super Junior adored by millions and has to be a role model and grow up.My darling Hae,I’m forever reminded by the hurt in your eyes each time you talk about your dad,the way your voice crack and tremble.I can never get that image out of my head and I know that some part of your heart will never be whole again.I know you always smile and have a good time with the other Suju members and ELFs and I believe that you are really happy,but deep down,there’s always a part of you which is incomplete.I’ve never known what it is like to be that strong Hae,but you set an example for me.Being strong is not easy,being strong takes a good deal of courage and strength and I admire you in every single way.The members had revealed once that you always cry in your phone calls home and I know how much you miss your family.You,along with the rest of Suju had sacrificed their youth and precious times with your family and friends to make a mark in the entertainment business and that itself is a cause for admiration.I cannot say how much I respect you for being that strong Hae for it is something I can never do,right now.Now I know,the story behind that sunshine pearly smile,and why your eyes always shimmer with melancholy and there always seem to be an invisible shadow casting over your frame,even in the brightest of places.No one will truly know how it feels,unless they are you;and for that Hae,I cannot bring myself to forsake you and I need to love you with all that I have.

My dream of seeing you came true on 29 January 2011,IN ss3 Singapore..I cannot properly express the feeling of seeing you live in 4D,live in flesh and skin and I will never  forget that second when you came near and I called your name and you looked at me directly in the eye,smiled and waved.I could keep staring forever.That moment,I swear We were infinite.Lee Donghae,I never thought that I could be within an arm’s length from you and I never thought you could walk past me/walk near me and hear your voice live,but you did and I’m forever grateful.I never thought I could be so close to you to the point that I could see the varying shades of color in your hair (from red to brown to black)and the smoothness of your skin and the fact that you are just there,raw and real and breathing the same air as me,seeing the same things as me.I can never put that feeling of sheer ecstasy and gratitude into words.I adore how I screamed your name all the time and waved my lightstick in that sapphire blue sea.I adore you Lee Donghae.I love how you interacted with all the other members,your attempts to speak in English and your cosy and intimate moment with Siwon*winks*.I wish I could shake your hand and have a selca with you,but whatever I’ve gained from that night is enough until the next time I see you again.You are extremely precious my boy.

I remember during the A levels period,I was feeling incredibly stressed out and alone even though my friends and I were fighting the same war,but you and Super Junior were there for me during that horribly tough time.Each time I felt torn and  terrible,I turned to you and SJ.I cannot explain the amount of comfort I gain from listening to your music,watching your videos and laughing like no tomorrow.You are my own brand of heroin and laughing gas Hae.I’m glad things in A levels turned out fine and work turned out fine too.You and SJ was my motivation in finding a job fast,in venturing out to the workforce fast and I’ve learnt alot about office politics and human nature since.Even though you may not know it,you were always there for me and I always had to turn to you and SJ.Some may call me a mindless fangirl,a girl who is too absorbed in her own world,but I call it love.Inspiration.You and SJ were my inspiration and motivation to try out different things,to be braver than before.I was willing to be strong for my parents,and I am willing to be strong for them and you and Suju too.I cannot even describe the amount of impact you had in my life and will always have.I’ve always questioned myself what if I wake up one day and I got sick and tired of you,but then I realize I never will.Sure there will be one day when you will stop becoming my whole world and part of my daily life,and my husband(real life)will come and take over your place and by then I might be too old to be your fangirl,however one thing’s for certain-I will never ever stop loving you.One day I will show my child or even grandchild pictures of my idols when I was a teenager and I’ll always say your name and Suju and tell them how much I love them and how much they impacted my life.I really hope You will be happy Lee Donghae,because you made me and millions so happy and I think,for once,you should live for yourself.Live not  for your father,Live not for your family and friends,but Live for yourself.Have a girlfriend if it makes you happy.It will definitely break my heart,but I will smile and accept it for you are a man and you are a normal human being and you deserve to have a life like a normal human.I love you Lee Donghae,I always will.When you go to the army in 3 years’ time, I don’t know what I will be like in 3 years,but I know that even if I stopped being a fangirl by then,deep down there’s a part of me that will always wait for your return.Like how I’m waiting for Kangin,Kibum and Hangeng,I will always wait for you.

I’m starting University in August Hae,and it’s gonna be a wild ride and I might not have so much time for you and Super Junior anymore,but I will always put you guys in my heart and I will keep listening to your music,watch your shows and keep myself updated with your news.That’s the least I can do.When I’m older and finacially stable,I will fly over to Korea and attend all your shows and fanmeets,For now I shall stick with the promise of SS4 to see you again.Please grace Singapore’s shores soon.Latest is next year okay!I don’t know how long Super Junior can last-forever’s not really forever but I’m glad I witnessed the glory of Super Junior in one night.When reality steps in the way,things might change but I know with every phase of life that I go through,you will always be with me,in my mind and in my heart and the fact that we’re all struggling to go through life and doing the things we want to do makes us One in the end.Teukie is OUR Angel ithout wings to grace the Sapphire blue sea,but you are MY OWN Angel Hae with brightest wings in the world to light up my life-and will always be.I love you Donghae,I always have and I always will.Be it Aiden Lee,Fishy Lee,Lee Donghae,이동해or 李东海, I love you and that will never change.

P.S:In your next life,please don’t be Super Junior’s Lee Donghae anymore.like all the other ELFs in the world,we know that one lifetime of being a member of Super Junior is enough.In your next life,be happy,do what you want and live it well.In my next life,if I have a choice,I’ll choose to be your wife and grow old with you.<333

Always your ELFish,

Mingyee<33333333

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Because my love for these boys are becoming increasingly overwhelming,it’s time to do my top 5 Super Junior bias list…be braced.

1.LEE DONG HAE.

This adorable Fishy of mine,has got to be the most most most gorgeous man on earth and I’m not even exaggerating.He’s beautiful,in and out.I love everything about Donghae,from his personality to his looks to his voice to his everything.There’s nothing I do not love about this boy.Even though he is childish and is the Prince of tears,he’s perfect in his own way and I love him so so so much.The funny thing is,Hae’s an expert at being cute and yet so manly at the same time.Donghae reminds me of myself-we’re both terribly impatient,cry alot,sensitive and often blurt out words that we wished we could hold back in and we are afraid of being alone.I can totally feel him.Looking at him(some say I have the same eyes as him) makes me feel as though I’m gazing at the male version of what I would be.I remember that my first kpop bias was not Donghae,instead it was Siwon.However this adorable boy-quickly stole the spotlight and I’ve been trapped ever since.I love his sweet tongue,his crooked smile,the way his eyes shimmer and dimmer and the way he loves his family,friends and fans.Plus can I say that he has the HOTTEST Adam apple of ALL TIME.PERIOD.Plus I love it when he speaks Chinese he’s so corny but I like it.I will always remember how he’ll say “qin ai de bao bei men,wo shi donghai wo ai ni men ni shi wo de quan bu”-say AWWWWWWWWW and his awkward Chinese phrasing “eat with me?Sleep with me?Live with me?Be together with me?” is EPIC.I want to tell him “EVERYTHING HAE<3″I love how Hae comes to life when he dances and how the whole stage is his.He reminds me of Michael Jackson when he dance and he’s so comfortable in his own skin,so unlike the usual bubbly Hae who cannot sit still and acts like a kid.When he dances,he immediately becomes this mature,sexy and endearing and charming man.Yes.From a boy to a man,that’s what Lee Donghae is.Furthermore,he’s the first celebrity who made me cry whenever he talks about his background and family.I want to hug him so so so badly and tell him that things are gonna be alright.This boy….I will love him for the rest of my life.He loves skinship and attention and I believe I can give him all the attention and love in the world so long as he keeps being Him-a good boy and the real LeeDonghae.I just want him to always be himself no matter what and I believe my fishy will be.Even if he does changes,I’m sure it will be for the better;but hae is already the best he can be so whatever I said is irrelevant.He’s still childlike but one day he will be a Man and one day this baby of mine will grow up,and get married and have children of his own.I believe I will too.Whoever he will be with next time,as long as Hae is happy,I will be too.For now,he’s in charge of making my heart race,making me laugh and making me happy until my husband comes along.Forever and always my Fishy Hae.

2.CHOI SI WON

Now,this man.What can I do with you Choi Siwon????????This man.is responsible for the kpop crazed me today.He was the one who opened the doors of the kpop world to me and from then on there was no turning back.I remember how I saw him in a magazine ad and I was like “who is this gorgeous boy?” and then I started doing research and TADA!I’m in for life.See how influential this man is?I don’t even know where to begin.All I know is that he’s probably the most perfect man you can find out there-he’s a gentleman,a devout Christian,a family man,a man skilled in taekwondo,the textbook handsome guy with an established family background…what’s there NOT to like?You cannot find it in your heart to dislike CHOI SIWON.It’s impossible.I love how Siwon cares about so many people,even those that he doesn’t know and how he loves the world.He’s a humantarian alright.I admire him for following his dream even though his parents were strongly against it and everything else about this man.This man,according to Lee Donghae has no temper..almost no temper at least.It would take one AGES,YEARS to make him angry-he’s so composed and aware of himself I don’t even..he is so angelic,I love the Sihae interaction as well as SiChul.Siwon persuading HeeChul the atheist to convert to Christianity is really funny with HeeChul saying “Please don’t go about Jesus again.I respect you but it’s too much…”and Siwon,being the SIWON,laughs,shrugs and talks about it AGAIN.Wonnie’s persistence in his religion really earned my respect and you can’t hate him,you can only like him.He has those KING SIZE dimples and I seem to drown in them every single time.Don’t get me started on the chocolate abs and winks….Siwon’s too perfect,maybe his only flaw is that he’s too critcial of himself.He said once in an interview that he tends to have many regrets and I want to tell him “darling,you’ve did your best.” and I know he has.He needs to cut himself some slack because to us,he’s the epitome of a perfect manThe truth is, Siwon to me is the modern day Prince Charming who resides in South Korea and he is really,every girl’s ideal.I love Siwon,from his mobile eyebrows to his hand gestures to his skinship with Hae to ….everything.He’s truly God’s Gift.Choi Siwon,I will remember your name for the rest of my life.I will always remember you as  a good actor,a lovely singer,a member of Super Junior and the best a man can be.

3.KIM HEE CHUL

Kim Hee Chul,saranghaeyo!!!!!!!!!!This beautiful man-knows no boundaries he makes many many many girls ashamed of themselves.He’s so pretty I DON’T EVEN.And he can be so handsome it’s seriously extreme-His bambi like eyes are seriously huge enough to die for..Must admit that I did not have a good impression of Heenim at first as he seems to be so brash,loud and obnoxious.However as time goes by,I love this guy more and more I’m not even kidding you.As loud and obnoxious he is,HeeChul’s really funny and downright hilarous.He’s everything I wanna be-he’s brutally honest,striaghtforward and arms himself with words so that he won’t get hurt.He puts on a funny and jokerlike facade to prevent himself from getting hurt when deep down,he’s incredibly soft hearted and full of tears.I love HeeChul’s unique personality-I bet in a thousand years you will never be able to find some one like Kim Hee Chul ever again.He’s one in a gazillion.He’s truly him and you cannot but like him for being him.I love how he loves Hangeng and his teammates(even though he’s closer to CHOCOBALLS) and I love how he’s the life of the party.Seriously,no place is quiet with Kim HeeChul.I love how he acts as a big brother to Super Junior now and how he wants Super Junior to be around forever.I love how he wants to retain the name of Super Junior through good and bad,through rain or storm.I love how he loves his fans and everyone and I just love Kim HeeChul.Even though he’s not extremely good at either singing or dancing,I love how he tries and how he manages to STAND OUT in a  group of 13.IT’S NOT EASY and Kim HeeChul,for everything that you do,just keep being you.I will so miss you when you enlist at the end of this year,but hey,Goodbye’s not forever.We are going to say hello again darling.

4.CHO KYU HYUN

Hello there my evil maknae.Kyuhyun is…..all sorts of wonderful.He’s such a pure and beautiful man.Really.I love everything about him(this is starting to sound common,but it is true) and I really love his  voice.His voice is the only voice that can make me cry,make me smile and give me the comfort that I need.His voice is sweet caramel,soft cheesecake and melted chocolate on a cold winter morning(oh my I am beginning to sound like Changmin).His voice makes me happy and calms my nerves.I swear the guy has the BEST SOOTHING voice around.He has the voice and looks of an Angel and I do believe that he IS an angel,even though he loves to prank on his members ALOT.He’s definitely the evil maknae who wants to keep his Hyungs to himself(review the Intimate note episode) and HeeChul’s the evil senior.Seriously,those two should get a room.Kyu has never failed to amaze me with his intelligence and wit(Gawd he’s definitely Heenim the second) and did I mention how HOT he is when he speaks Chinese?His “fu wu yuanrrrrrrrrrrr” is to die for and it’s too sexy.Whenever he speaks in Chinese in that deep,sensual chocolatey voice of his,I just want to marry him.Besides,I love how Kyu is a drama addict like me and how he loves his games and music.I love how strong he is,despite being almost snatched by death at the young age of 19.Kyu’s stronger than the typical man and even though he’s the maknae,he’s way mature than anyone of his age and deeper than you will ever know.I love this kind of man.He ignites the curiosity in me and I want to protect him even though this sounds so silly.I want to take care of this maknae even though I’m 4 years younger than him.His blackbrown piercing eyes…..don’t even get me started on it.For the rest of my life,Kyu,your voice will always be one source of strength in me.

5.KIM KI BUM

This boy ignites all the curiosity I have in me.There is this air of melancholy around him and I don’t know why.He can be laughing and talking and yet,I still feel a  certain vibe of loneliness emitting out of him and it hits me like a sudden wave.I want to hug him and tell him that everything’s gonna be alright.Donghae,Kangin and Siwon all said before that they want Kibum to speak out his feelings more-if he’s tired,just say it.The thing about this boy is that he’s too fond of holding back his feelings for fear of being burdensome,but nooooooo he needs to be dependent sometimes.Being too independent is tiring you know,and my heart aches for this lovable boy who’s way older than his years.He’s too young to be jaded and almost cynical and there is more to him than one will ever know.His dazzling smile is too dazzling for his own good and that smile makes me so happy I don’t even.I love to see Kibum smiling.I love Kim Kibum.His soft and quiet personality that shields an emotional heart…his raps are (Y).I SWEAR Kibum and EunHyuk make the best rap duo ever.Period.His English accent is seriously charming and sexy and each time he smiles and say “C’mon man” I die inside.Really.Kim KiBum I love you baby and I’m never gonna stop!I love how he loves acting so much and I love how he loves Donghae so much.I cannot dislike him.I never will.My only wish now is for him to remove his hiatus and come back to Super Junior.I know he loves acting.I just want to be selfish for once.Once.Please Kibum,come back soon.Super Junior needs you.They miss you and I do too.After coming back for 5jib,you can do all the acting you want.Anything as long as you are happy.You miss them too right?We know it.HWAITING LOVE.

So here are my top 5 Super Junior bias.For non kpop fans,I’m sorry this is a bore  to you,but I want to remind myself of why I like them so much and this is the only way.To put them down in writing and allow them to be stored in the archives for months,years to come.I’m in this kpop business for life,I just know it.Super Junior FIGHTING!!!!!<33333333333333333

P.S: I’m so gonna play “Marry U” at my wedding next time and one day I bet my children and grandchildren will love Super Junior as much as I do and I will tell them my idols and lots of wonderful fangirl stories.

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Okay here goes:I LOVE MONGA TO THE MAX AND I’M SOOOO INNNNN LOVEEEEEE WITH MARK ZHAO.HE’S SO DAMN ADORABLE AND SO CUTE AND SO GOOD LOOKING!I just jumped frm Team Ethan to Team MARK.I’m sorry Cheryl!

OMG I REALLY LOVE MONGA IT WAS THE BEST CHINESE MOVIE I’VE SEEN IN A LONG LONG LONG TIME.BEFORE I GET INTO DETAILS,DID I TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE 赵又廷 aka Mark Chao?Yes I think I did,but he’s the hottest Chinese actor I’ve seen in a long long long time.The last time was Ethan and that was…4 years ago?

Okay so today I went to watch Monga with Cheryl,Kev,Asyraf and Jonny.I was really hyped up for the movie and I was so excited but guess what.I got lost at the MRT station at Plaza Sing and Jonny had to pick me up frm the MRT station and we walked to the cinema to meet the guys.Thanks Jonny!I went berserk when I saw the HUGE Monga poster on display and when I saw a solo’s of Mark,I fainted.sososososo excited.

The movie was awesome no matter how I praised it,I still won’t be able to do justice to it.You have to watch it before you can tell.I haven’t watched a Chinese movie in the cinemas for AGES and Monga was the FIRST Taiwan movie I watched in the theatres.I must say that the storyline,even though it’s predictable, is still engrossing and really moving.I love the chemistry between the actors esp Mark and Ethan.God maybe they were brothers in their previous lives or something.Spoiler Alert!I was damn sad when they started bashing each other up and stuff they just shouldn’t do that.

Okay so the movie started with Mark telling his story.Idk why his name is mosquito there but yeah.Anyway he joined the Prince Gang alongside Ethan and Rhydian(he’s the leader of the gang and boy with his mix blood looks,he’s so hawt!) because of a….chicken leg.I know right.Anw, the whole movie basically showed Mosquito’s growing up process frm a 17 year old innocent boy to one of the members of the Prince Gang and his innocence and naivety is reallyreallyreally hilarious!!Boy oh boy,I couldn’t help but KEEP LAUGHING at his sheer innocence and silliness throughout the first half of the movie,esp the squid incident.GAWD THAT WAS EPIC.The gang thought he had died when he collided with two cars while escaping and they were like “wen zi?” and his eyes suddenly flashed open!Hahaha that part was downright funny.Oh and I love the soundtracks of the movie.There was this Cantonese song by Alan Tam and it was really catchy and the best part was…MARK LISTENS TO SONGS BY AIR SUPPLY-MAKING LOVE OUT OF NOTHING AT ALL.AWWWWWWWWWW.LIKE WHAT CHERYL SAID,”I’LL FALL IN LOVE WITH A GUY STRIAGHTAWAY IF HE MAKES ME LISTEN TO AIR SUPPLY’S SONGS”

SO SWEEEEEEEEET.Romance is but a small part of the story and I love the romance between Mark and the prostitute played by Alice Ke.She’s really pretty in real life,even so with that blue birthmark on her face.They shared such a sweet,pure love and it was really ironic that Mark patronises her not to have sex,but rather,as a form of escapism away frm his gang life.I think listening to music with her and keeping silent is a very romantic thing to do.AWWWW.I LOVE HIM.

I stopped laughing at the second half of the movie.For all the innocence is gone as the actors venture into the world of the grownups.

It was really painful,watching people die one after the other-but what do you expect?It was a gang movie after all.It’s like things took a more serious and darker mood in the second half.With realization and people dying, the world that the characters built for themselves started to crumble frm within and Mark/Mosquito was forced to grow up and see the world for what it really was.I shan’ t go into details-if not I won’t be able to finish typing until tomorrow.

The ending was heartbreaking.

I felt vvvv upset with Ethan,and subsequently Mark.Before the inevitable fight began,Mark had promised Alice that he would bring her out,away frm the brothel,to watch a movie.Apparently by the end he didn’t fulfill his promise,cause he couldn’t.That was one major regret in the story.And that gray hair dude who was a gangster,who was Mark’s mom’s ex boyfriend turned out to be Mark’s loved father.and Mark didn’t know.He had disliked that man for a long time,unaware that the man he had been disliking all along had been his father,the father who was the catalyst behind his dream of “going to Japan to look at the cherry blossoms”.It was a searing regret and I cried at that scene.I cried even more when the Final showdown between Mark and Ethan took place.Why do things have to turn out like this?You find yourself asking at the end of the movie.The easiest answer is that joining a gang is a one way ticket to doom.There’s no way out.Violence-the driving force for brotherhood,for integrity-these belong in the world of fantasical youth.There’s no place in the adult world for all these lofty dreams and ideals.One have to get down from the clouds and have a good long look at reality for once,even if it does cost you your life.

All in all, I felt that it was a stellar performance by the actors.I love both Mark and Ethan’s acting.Boy when they cried,it was so heartwrenching that you couldn’t blame them for whatever they did in the movie.It was compensation enough.I just wish that they didn’t have to be the cause of each other’s doom in the end.I mean,they were brothers.They still are,and whatever that Rhydian did by putting an end to the whole bloodshed by giving it more bloodshed was painful,but it was justifiable.The closing scene was the wall scene where we see what had really took place,when all the guys were good and well.Maybe the director was trying to hint that friendship cannot thrive on adrenaline and violence alone.It’s not the way to trudge through life.Ethan also said once in an interview abt the movie that “after filming the movie,I realized that gang life was never,never the way to go”.Maybe that’s the whole gist of the story then.When the credits started to roll,bringing an end to the whole movie,I felt as though a part of me was missing.There was a gritty sense of loss,of regret.Maybe that’s what youth is all about.The belief,the fun,the joy,the friendship,the pain,the tears and the LOSS.The raw wound that’s left behind,healed,but will always leave a mark that will scar you for the rest of your life.Who said that growing up was easy?

I still love the moody Ethan and the innocent Mark.How can anyone NOT fall in love with Mark?It’s just simply beyond my comprehension.

God I wanna watch the movie again.I can’t wait for the DVD release!Oh and Mark’s filming a new movie!YAY!

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Seeing DOUBLE or not..?

When I first saw this Burberry ad,I was like “HUNK ALERT!” Wait.Who is this hottie?

Same eyes same pout same arching eyebrows…WAIT.

Slowly the astonishment seeped in.

OMFG ALEX WATSON EMMA’S 17 YEAR OLD BROTHER.SO DAMN HOTTTTTTTTTTTT.My head feels clouded by this sudden revelation.It’s astounding.The Watsons sure have good genes!

They look like fraternal twins.Really I felt like I was seeing a spitting image of what a girl would look like if she was a boy.Speaking of spitting looks…

CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHO IS THIS?I know you are gonna say “JAMES DEAN LAH!” but THEN….

I TOOK A DOUBLE TAKE WHEN I SAW THIS.IT RENDERED ME SPEECHLESS FOR A FEW SECONDS.

JAMES FRANCO LOOKS EXACTLY

LIKE JAMES DEAN!

I felt like I was seeing DOUBLE.

OH ANYWAY James Franco played Jimmy in the autobiographical movie James Dean(2001)-it was  a telemovie.I want to watch!and oh yeah like hell he sure looks like my idol.reallyreallyreally.I think he is James Dean reincarnated or sth.It’s such a coincidence that both their first names is James too.I think Jimmy lived in him lol.But srsly.I’m getting confused for no real reason.I don’t know why too.Okay I’m in love with Franco now but Fabregas’s still number 1=)Oh and you know they wanted to cast Leonardo Dicaprio or Ethan Hawke as Jimmy?I was like as much as Leo Dicaprio is my all time favorite actor(I can’t forget my Leomania days)and Ethan Hawke is really WOW,but they don’t LOOK like James Dean.At least NOT like how Franco looks like James Dean reincarnated or something.Yet I’m still not answering my own question:is the guy on the poster Franco or Dean?????

I think it shld be Dean right?His eyes say so.OMG I DON’T KNOW.

I shld be doing serious work,but I’m deviating a little bit because It’s Friday.=)

SO now more time with pop culture and hottie celebs and Connie just introduced me to this AWESOME British drama called Skins.Nicholas Hoult,Mitch Hewer and Luke Pasqualino FTW.Their British accent is simply alluring..and soccer of course!FABREGAS=D

Westlife’s I’ll see you again is hauntingly beautiful and heartwrenching.

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